The Diary of a Nobody
Being the modern day record of Charles
Pooter VI -
direct descendant of the 19th Century original
Tuesday, June 01, 2010
Quite looking forward to tonight’s séance. I was thinking about it all day at the office.Just as we were sitting down at the table, we were annoyed at Gowing coming in uninvited.
He said, “I’m not going to stop, but I’ve bought a sealed envelope with me, which I know I can entrust to your care, Carrie. In that sealed envelope, there’s a strip of paper on which I’ve asked a simple question. If the spirits can answer it, I’ll believe in Spiritualism”.
I suggested it might be impossible.
Annie said, “No, it’s common for spirits to answer questions under these conditions. Sometimes they even write on paper which is locked away in a box. It’s well worth having a go. If “Lina”’s not playing up, she’ll definitely do it”.
Gowing said, “Right you are then. If she does, I’ll be a firm believer. I’ll pop back at around half nine or ten to hear the result”.
He then left, and we sat for a long time. Cummings wanted to know something about some business he was involved in, but couldn’t get any kind of answer at all. At which he said he was very disappointed, and was afraid he didn’t set any store by seances at all. I thought this was rather self-centred. The séance was very similar to last night’s: almost the same in fact. So we turned to the letter. “Lina” took a long time answering the question, but eventually spelt out “ROSES, LILIES AND COWS”. The table rocked a lot, and Annie said, “If that’s Captain Drinkwater, can we ask him the answer as well?"
It was indeed the Captain’s spirit, and most oddly, he gave the exact same answer: “ROSES, LILIES AND COWS”.
I can’t quite describe Carrie’s agitation on breaking the seal, or the disappointment we all felt when we read the question to which the answer was completely irrelevant. The question was “How old is Charles Pooter?”
This completely decided me on the subject.
Just as I’d put my foot down about Spiritualism some years back, I decided to do so again.
I’m pretty easy-going as a rule, but when pushed, I can be very determined.
As I switched the lights on, I said slowly, “I’m never, ever, going to let this kind of tomfoolery go on in my house again. I’m sorry I ever got drawn into this stupid nonsense. If there’s anything in it – which I seriously doubt – it’s no good to anyone, and I won’t have it going on here. That’s enough”.
Annie said, “Charles, I think you’re rather overstepping …”
I said, “Give it a rest. I determine what goes on in this house. Understand?”
Annie made a comment which I sincerely hope I misunderstood. I was so wound up I didn’t hear it properly. But if she said what I thought she said, she’s never coming back in this house again.
©MMIX KONSIGNIA. All rights reserved.
Why shouldn’t
I publish
my diary?
I often see memoirs by people I’ve never even heard of and I don’t see why my diary should be any less interesting, just because I’m not a ‘celebrity’. I only wish I’d started it when I was younger.
Charles Pooter
The Laurels, 32 Elmside,
Barleycorn Mead, Harrow on the Hill.
charles@charlespooter.com
Archives
XML Site Feed
(whatever one of those is)
Powered by Blogger