The Diary of a Nobody
Being the modern day record of Charles
Pooter VI -
direct descendant of the 19th Century original
Monday, May 31, 2010
The manager from Johnson’s called. He was very sorry about the shirts, and said he’d return £12 (the cost of the cleaning). I said as the colour was more or less gone, £12 wasn’t enough. Carrie remembered that the shirts had only cost £6, since she’d bought them at Primark, so I called Johnson’s and told them to send me £6 instead. Lupin’s gone to stay at the Posh’s place for a couple of days. I must say, I’m not happy about it. Carrie said I was being ridiculous. Murray was very fond of Lupin who, after all, was only a boy.In the evening, we had another séance which in some respects was very remarkable, although the first part was a little doubtful. Gowing and Cummings called, and asked to join the circle. I wanted to object, but Annie, who appears to be a good medium (that is, if there is such a thing), thought there might be a little more spirit power if Gowing joined, so the five of us sat down.
The moment I turned off the lights, and almost before I could get my hands on the table, it rocked violently and tilted and began moving across the room. Gowing shouted out, “Whoa! Steady on, steady on!”. I told Gowing that if he didn’t behave himself, I’d put the lights on and stop the séance. To tell the truth, I thought Gowing was messing around, and hinted as much, but Annie said she’d often seen the table go right off the ground. The spirit Lina came again and said “WARN” three or four times but wouldn’t say why. Annie said that “Lina” could be stubborn sometimes. She often behaved this way, and the best thing to do would be to send her away.
She then hit the table sharply and said, “Go away Lina. You’re not helping. Go away!”. I reckon we then sat for nearly 45 minutes with nothing happening. My hands felt quite cold, and I suggested we should stop the séance. Carrie and Annie, along with Cummings, wouldn’t agree. About ten minutes later, there was some tilting towards me. I went through the alphabet and it spelt out SPOOF. As I’ve heard both Gowing and Lupin use the word, and as I could hear Gowing laughing to himself, I accused him, directly, of pushing the table. He denied it, but I’m sorry, I didn’t believe him.
Gowing said, “Perhaps it means SPOOK – a ghost”.
I said, “You know it doesn’t mean anything of the sort”.
Gowing said, “Oh all right then. I’m sorry I “spook””, and he got up from the table.
No one took any notice of his stupid joke, and Annie suggested he should sit out for a while. Gowing agreed, and sat in the armchair.
The table started to move again, and we could have had a great séance if Gowing hadn’t kept making stupid comments. In answer to the alphabet from Carrie, the table spelt out “NIPUL”, then the “WARN” three times. We couldn’t work out what it meant, until Cummings pointed out that “NIPUL” was Lupin spelt backwards. This was quite exciting. Carrie got particularly excited and said she hoped nothing nasty was going to happen.
Annie asked if “Lina” was the spirit. The table said, firmly, “NO”, but the spirit wouldn’t give his or her name. We then got the message “NIPUL will be very rich”.
Carrie said she was really relieved, but the word “WARN” was spelt out again. The table began to oscillate violently, and in response to Annie, who spoke very softly to the table, the spirit began to spell out its name. It first spelled “DRINK”.
At which point Gowing said, “Ah! That’s more to my taste”.
I asked him to be quiet as the name might not be complete.
The table then spelt “WATER”.
Gowing interrupted again, saying, “Ah! Definitely not to my taste. It’s OK, but not if I have to drink it”.
Carrie asked him to be quiet.
The table then spelt “DEREK”, and Annie startled us by suddenly shouting, “Derek Drinkwater, a very old friend of my father’s. He’s been dead for years”.
This was very intriguing, and I couldn’t help thinking that maybe there was something in this Spiritualism after all.
Annie asked the spirit to explain the meaning of the word “WARN” in relation to “NIPUL”. The alphabet was given again, and we got the word “TOSH”.
Gowing muttered, “And so it is”.
Annie said she didn’t think the spirit meant that, as Derek Drinkwater was a perfect gent, and wouldn’t have replied to a question from a lady with such a word. The alphabet was given again.
This time the table clearly spelt out “POSH”. We all thought of Daisy and Lupin. Carrie was getting a little distressed, and since it was late, we decided to stop the séance.
We arranged to have one more tomorrow (Annie’s last night in town). We agreed not to invite Gowing. Before he left, Cummings said it was definitely interesting stuff, but he wished the spirits would say something about him.
©MMIX KONSIGNIA. All rights reserved.
Why shouldn’t
I publish
my diary?
I often see memoirs by people I’ve never even heard of and I don’t see why my diary should be any less interesting, just because I’m not a ‘celebrity’. I only wish I’d started it when I was younger.
Charles Pooter
The Laurels, 32 Elmside,
Barleycorn Mead, Harrow on the Hill.
charles@charlespooter.com
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