The Diary of a Nobody
Being the modern day record of Charles
Pooter VI -
direct descendant of the 19th Century original
Friday, December 18, 2009
Yesterday I was feeling reflective. Today I was trying to look ahead, but all I could see was a load of clouds on the horizon. The Daisy Mutlar business is making Lupin an absolute pain. He won’t say exactly why they’ve split up. Obviously, she’s done something he doesn’t approve of, but if we try to sympathise, he gets all tetchy and says he won’t hear a word said against her. What are we supposed to do? I’m also disappointed that neither Carrie nor Lupin have any interest in my diary.I mentioned it at breakfast today. I said “What I’d thought was if anything ever happened to me, my diary would give you both some really happy memories. Quite apart from the chance of earning off it if it was published in book form”.
Carrie and Lupin burst out laughing. Carrie immediately apologised. She said “I don’t mean to be rude, my love, but honestly I don’t think people would be interested in it. No publisher would want to take it on”.
I replied “I’m sure it’s just as interesting as some of the rubbish celebrities like that dreadful woman Katie Price get published. Anyway, it’s the diary that makes the man: where would Samuel Pepys have been without his?"
Carrie said I was quite a philosopher. Lupin, on the other hand, sneered, “Get it published on one long thin sheet of paper. That way, people can wipe their arses with it”.
Right. At the end of the year – I’m stopping this.
©MMIX KONSIGNIA. All rights reserved.
Why shouldn’t
I publish
my diary?
I often see memoirs by people I’ve never even heard of and I don’t see why my diary should be any less interesting, just because I’m not a ‘celebrity’. I only wish I’d started it when I was younger.
Charles Pooter
The Laurels, 32 Elmside,
Barleycorn Mead, Harrow on the Hill.
charles@charlespooter.com
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