The Diary of a Nobody
Being the modern day record of Charles
Pooter VI -
direct descendant of the 19th Century original
Sunday, December 20, 2009
I went down to a Clinton’s card shop. It was packed with people elbowing each other to get at the shelves. They were picking up cards, taking a quick look, then stuffing them back. I said to one of the girls at the till that she must get fed up with people being so careless. Just then, my coat caught on a revolving stand with some really expensive novelty cards on it, and knocked the whole thing over. Cards went everywhere, people trod on them, it was pandemonium. The manager was called. He started picking them up, and said to one of the assistants “They’re damaged. Put them over there in the discount section”. This was clearly directed at me. As a result, I felt duty bound to buy some of them at full price.I had to get a lot more cards, and pay a lot more, than I’d planned. Unfortunately, I didn’t look at them all properly, and when I got home I found one which had a picture of Father Christmas dropping his trousers on the front. Inside it said “wishing you a crappy Christmas”, there was a picture of a pile of poo, and it made a farting sound. I ripped it up and threw it away. Carrie said the problem with having a busier social life these days was that we ended up having to send out loads more cards. About two dozen, this year.
©MMIX KONSIGNIA. All rights reserved.
Why shouldn’t
I publish
my diary?
I often see memoirs by people I’ve never even heard of and I don’t see why my diary should be any less interesting, just because I’m not a ‘celebrity’. I only wish I’d started it when I was younger.
Charles Pooter
The Laurels, 32 Elmside,
Barleycorn Mead, Harrow on the Hill.
charles@charlespooter.com
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