The Diary of a Nobody
Being the modern day record of Charles
Pooter VI -
direct descendant of the 19th Century original
Friday, December 25, 2009
CHRISTMAS DAYWe drove down to Carrie’s mother’s. The countryside was looking nice, though the roads were wet and muddy. We ate at lunch-time, ten of us, and reminisced about the old days. If everyone’s mother-in-law was as pleasant and uninterfering as mine, the world would be a happier place, I’m sure. We gave her a toast, and I made a very good speech.
I drew it to a close by saying “At a time like this, friends, family and acquaintances are all well disposed towards each other. Love and friendship are uppermost in our minds. Those who’ve fallen out, should kiss and make up. Those who’ve not fallen out … well, they can kiss as well!”
Both Carrie and her mother had tears in their eyes at this, which I took as a compliment. Very flattering. An old friend of Carrie’s mother, John Panzy Smith, made a funny speech, and finished up by saying we should do as I’d suggested. He walked round the table and kissed the ladies. I didn’t mind at all. But then a young chap called Moss (I’d not met him before) who’d hardly said a thing during the meal, suddenly jumped up, holding a piece of mistletoe, and said “Wey hey! I’m going to get a slice of the action!” and kissed all the women. On the mouth. And a little too long, I’d say.
People took it as a joke. We all laughed. I thought he’d gone a bit too far. I mentioned it to Carrie later, but she said, “Come on. He’s not much more than a boy”. I said he was pretty familiar for a boy. She said, “I’m sure he’ll turn into a very nice young man”.
©MMIX KONSIGNIA. All rights reserved.
Why shouldn’t
I publish
my diary?
I often see memoirs by people I’ve never even heard of and I don’t see why my diary should be any less interesting, just because I’m not a ‘celebrity’. I only wish I’d started it when I was younger.
Charles Pooter
The Laurels, 32 Elmside,
Barleycorn Mead, Harrow on the Hill.
charles@charlespooter.com
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