The Diary of a Nobody
Being the modern day record of Charles
Pooter VI -
direct descendant of the 19th Century original
Saturday, November 14, 2009
I felt a lot better when I got up this morning – completely back to normal. I’m not a natural party animal: so when we got an invite to someone’s wedding we turned it down. We’d only met her a couple of times down at Annie’s, and I didn’t feel like shelling out on a present for her. Lupin said, “Yeah, I’m with you on that. It’s like some crap Hollywood B-movie. Bride and groom as the stars. Joke-cracking best man, crying dad, and snivelling mother as supporting cast, and everyone else has a walk-on role, which they have to pay for by buying a present”. I didn’t quite agree with the film analogy (slightly rude), but thought it was witty all the same.I said to Carrie to sling the trifle. She’d been serving it up every day since the party. Cummings came round in the evening and said we’d thrown a great do. He said it was the best he’d been to in ages. We were watching “Property Snakes and Ladders”, when Lupin and Frank came in making a load of noise. I asked them if they’d care to watch it with us, but Lupin took the remote, and switched over to “Dave”, where a foul-mouthed Scottish man on Mock the Week was making a joke about a paedophile. Lupin and Frank laughed a lot. I changed the channel back immediately.
Despite having told her to chuck it out, Carrie served the trifle again - this time disguised with some squirty cream and chocolate sprinkles. She offered some to Lupin, and he said “No way. That’s pure salmonella”. Afterwards, I told Carrie if she tried to serve it up again, I’d leave her. For good.
©MMIX KONSIGNIA. All rights reserved.
Why shouldn’t
I publish
my diary?
I often see memoirs by people I’ve never even heard of and I don’t see why my diary should be any less interesting, just because I’m not a ‘celebrity’. I only wish I’d started it when I was younger.
Charles Pooter
The Laurels, 32 Elmside,
Barleycorn Mead, Harrow on the Hill.
charles@charlespooter.com
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