The Diary of a Nobody
Being the modern day record of Charles
Pooter VI -
direct descendant of the 19th Century original
Monday, April 06, 2009
Terrible start to the day. A man from Virgin Media, who we decided not to sign up with, arrived to install some cable gubbins. When it became clear we were signed up to Sky, he started giving me an earful about the ‘ball ache’ this sort of thing caused and said they could do without customers like me. I just said, “So what are you making all this fuss about?”, and he shouted at the top of his voice so the whole street could hear “Forget it mate. You’re a waste of space”.I shut the door, and was pointing out to Carrie that this was all her fault, when there was a violent kicking at the door, enough to crack the PVC. It was the bloke from Virgin Media again, saying he’d tripped over the urn and sprained his ankle, and he’d be calling Claims Direct. Found an odd jobs man in the Yellow Pages and arranged for him to come round to move the urn. Didn’t think it worth bothering him about the wireless door bell - I’ll buy a new one from Argos.
Arrived home rather out of sorts. Had decided against painting the stair trim myself and asked in Frank Putley, a local decorator who’d put a flyer through the door. He couldn’t match the colour on the stairs because it was a cheap job lot from the (discontinued) Llewellyn Bowen Renaissance range. He suggested repainting the stairs entirely. It wouldn’t cost much more, and if he tried to match the colours, it could easily end up looking like a bodge job. We’d all feel a lot better having the work done properly. I agreed, but couldn’t help feeling he might be pulling a fast one. Planted some herbs and went to bed at nine.
©MMIX KONSIGNIA. All rights reserved.
Why shouldn’t
I publish
my diary?
I often see memoirs by people I’ve never even heard of and I don’t see why my diary should be any less interesting, just because I’m not a ‘celebrity’. I only wish I’d started it when I was younger.
Charles Pooter
The Laurels, 32 Elmside,
Barleycorn Mead, Harrow on the Hill.
charles@charlespooter.com
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